” But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together.  And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him.  “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?”  And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord Your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and first commandment.  And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

ESV Translation

When I first read this, I understood that Jesus was showing us that loving God, and loving others are inseperable and that they are to be done in order to fulfill ALL the laws of God.  But this time when I read it, it was one little word that caught my attention, and started to make me think about this topic.  When Jesus is telling this lawyer the second law (and in a another version it says ” another law equally important”) he says “You shall love your neighbor as you love yourself.”    Yourself.  He didn’t say “love your neighbor as you were loved”, or “love your neighbor as you would like to be loved”, he said “love your neighbor as yourself”.  Now, as insignificant as that word might be to many, it struck a cord with me (probably because I’m a girl, and loving myself is not something that comes easily).  God used this scripture to show me that He, in the full measure of his love for us, created an order to teach us to love in a Godly way.  And the order He created cannot be broken or mixed up without it affecting another part of the way we love. 

It is easy to see in the Scripture that Jesus showed us the 1st step of the order of love. “Love the Lord God with all your heart and will all your sould and with all your mind.”  God MUST be our first love, because He IS love, and it is through him that our love should be cultivated towards every other thing.

 The next step in the the order of love is the one that I believe is the missing step, which is loving ourselves.  Now I know that the first thought the comes along with “loving ourselves” is “self-centeredness”, but that is not the type of loving ourselves I believe Jesus was referring to.  I had to really think about what “loving myself” meant, because it is such a lost concept in the church today.  So this is what I came up with; loving oneself is not a boastful or prideful act in the slightest bit.  It is actually the opposite; it is truly knowing one’s wretchedness and sinfulness that no one else sees, and yet being able to see God’s image in ourselves.  It is looking past one’s failures and flaws, and seeing that which God has created us and is shaping us to be.  Loving oneself should be a type of unconditional love, regardless of what we’ve done (or haven’t done), what we look like, or what we can/cannot do.  It has to be a God-centered, not a self-centered type of love.  I believe that this is probably the hardest, but a crucial part of learning to love. 

And the final step in the order of love is ”loving your neighbor”.  Loving God and loving others has been something that God really instilled in my heart while I was in Utica at internship.  The passion of loving others was so apparent in the pastors, and that passion has absolutely resonated through their words and their actions.  I actually just read a blog this morning by Pastor Sam (Sam Luce on my blogroll), about loving others.  It has been a lost trade in this world, to affectively and unselfishly love those around you, but in Matthew, Jesus said that it was ”equally  important” as loving God.  Unfortunately, it is rare (but not impossible, as I have witnessed) to find someone who can both love God and love others with excellence.  It is very common to find someone who loves God with their whole being, but in doing so neglects those around them that NEED love.  And then there are those, who love every person they meet, regardless of who or what they are, but sometimes accidently put that duty before loving God.   Personally, I tend to be one of those  “loving God” people, but thankfully God paired me up with one of those “loving People” people, and when we work together, we balance the scale.  Loving others is what Jesus left us here to do.  To love others with HIS love, and to show them where that love comes from (the Big G_O_D)

So now that I have written a book, I just want to sum up with this thought: if we follow the order of love that Jesus was talking about here, we will learn to love the way God created us to love.  If we love God, love ourselves, and love others (in that order), we will be fulfilling God’s purpose for our lives.  But if we try to love others without loving ourselves, we will find that our love is conditional and that it will, in the end, either fail us or fail them. And in the same token, if we try to love ourselves without first and foremost loving God, we will become self-centered and lose focus of the goal.  But when we learn to love God, and (through his sacrifice) love ourselves, it will spill over into ALL other relationships, and we will find ourselves loving others the way God first loved us.  I am so thankful the Lord revealed this to my heart, and I know that as I apply this truth to my life I will see change and growth where I want to see change and growth.  So I hope this brings encouragement and blessing to you also. 

Love God.  Love yourself.  Love Others

If someone told me 15 years ago that I would end up dating Joshua Snowden, I probably would have said something like, ” EWWWWW, no way!”, and quickly give myself extra cootie shots just for the thought of it. Partially because 15 years ago I was five, and also because growing up, Josh was like another brother. Since both sets of our brothers were best friends, we found ourselves becoming friends more and more. The normal friendship between a boy and a tom-boy was cultivated, and up until high school, he still laughed hysterically when he called me Leah Fart. I knew all the girls he had crushes on when he was 12, and he knew all the boys I thought were cute. We played in the tree house together, and went swimming at my house during the summer. He was around when I fell off my bike and skinned my entire calf, and I was there when he fell off his bike and broke his collarbone (he won). I remember nights playing checkers and hanging out after youth group with everyone. We took Karate together, haha…and he’s way better at it then me. When we went into high school, we both took the Ring With A Promise class, and made the same covenant with God about purity. And what is funny to me is that we both still remember the ONE time when we were about 15 when we “thought” we liked each other, and I held his hand on the way back from a movie in my brothers car, and it was so awkward we never did again, or even talked about it until last Christmas when we started dating.

And now a year later since we started dating, and I find myself falling in love more and more with that same dorky kid who would call me Leah Fart. How amuzing it must have been for God, to watch us as He opened our eyes to see what he put together so wonderfully. A friendship that was started at the age of five turn into something so perfect. A friendship that has been changed and transformed into a partenership, and a love that most will never know.

And this Christmas we are going to get our Christmas trees with our families, which is the first thing we did as a couple last year. Oh how my life has changed in a year! Two years ago, I never would have guessed this is where I would be, but I wouldn’t change it for anything now. I can’t believe it’s already been a year, and I am so looking forward what this next year holds for us! And I hope it’s going where I think it is….

Who knows, maybe in a couple years, we will be cutting down a Christmas tree all our own! (that one was for you Pastor Sam, haha)

I think this is going to be a good thing for me, because it’s pushing me to do things that I don’t normally enjoy (like running).  AND, I can train for free at the gym I work at, and at the college, so it’s definately possible to do it over winter.  So far, it’s been fun.  Two weeks of running at about 6 pounds lighter, I think that this is going to a good change of pace.

So if you have any advice, or tips for this non-athlete (trying to turn tri-athlete), it would be greatly appreciated.  I could use all the advice I can get…

This is just a blurb taken from a newspaper report from 1905 during the Welsh Revival.  And to think that this great move of God started with a 26 year olds prayer, “Bend Me, O Lord.”  Evan Roberts, a mighty man of God, was the man that God chose to use to bring revival in his home country. 

Bend-to cause to have a fixed purpose; determine

Well, I have to say that from what took place through Roberts, the Lord “bent him”.  Actually, the Lord “bent him” in such a way that the man could not set his bible down.  In another newspaper article, they described Roberts this way, “He is no orator, he is not widely read. The only book he knows from cover to cover is the Bible. He has in his possession a Bible which he values above anything else he has belonging to him.” 

He was so fixed on seeing the move of God, that when he felt the Holy Spirit tell him to go home, he didn’t hesitate.  He left bible college without questioning the Lord. He didn’t worry about his grades, his money, or his reputation.  He followed the leading of the Holy Spirit back to Wales, and in doing so, God used him to touch a nation! 

Truly, as I looked at this man’s story, and the hunger that he had for the presence of the Lord, I couldn’t come up with any witty blog, or deep thoughts about it, I could only think of four little words… 

Bend me, O Lord!!

 But I have to be honest, I don’t think the problem is completely in the children, it’s in the parents. Now I am not yet myself a parent, but in my experience with working with children (and their parents) over the past 9 years, I have found that the behavior of a child most of the time is a good indication of the type of parenting that is happening.  Now, children are their own persons, and therefore will also have their own strong will and such, but habits and attitudes are normally learned (if not from parents then somewhere else). 

As far as childhood obesity goes, in all the research that I had to collect I have come to one conclusion. Being uninvolved in your child’s life is worse then a trip to the Golden Arches!  Whether you want to come to grips with it or not, you are the one who has the last say on what goes in your child’s body.  It is not the schools fault, it is not the media’s fault, it is not the computer, the video game, or the tv, so let’s stop blaming Ronald McDonald, and Captain Crunch for your child’s poor eating habits! It is up to the parents to choose what your children eat, what they watch, and how long they are allowed to sit on their butts. 

So in short, a child’s pant-size can be a direct reflection of the involvement a parent has in a child’s life (or at least their eating and exercising habits).  And just to scare everyone a little bit with some statistics, 70% of  overweight or obese children will become overweight or obese adults.  So show your children how much you love them by making them go outside and play, and really being concerned with what YOU are feeding them.  Don’t overlook the small, because it might not be so small in the future, and don’t blame someone else.  Get involved and stay healthy!

So I can probably guess the thoughts that are floating around your cranium right now, because I’m sure mine were the same.  It sounded something like, “Oh man, not another one”, or “hasn’t this guy found out that We 21st century Christians are over revival.”  Revival to me had always been an outdated word for a charismatic movement that invovled tents, silly flags, tambourines, and being slain in the spirit.  I have always connected revival with flaky christians.  And to be honest, that is the flavor, if you will, of a lot of young preachers these days.  We Generation X-ers tend to completely dismiss revival from our sermons, our studies, and our churches.  It isn’t relevant for today’s Christian.

So I walked in the first Sunday morning with a predisposition, and left with a different one.  Within five minutes of listining to this 67 year old business man speak of not only his experience, but his extensive (and I mean years of extensive) study on revival, my assumptions were broken.  I could hear in his voice the heaviness that the Lord had put on his heart about revival with every word he spoke.  The passion that the Lord had ignited in him years ago had never been quenched.  He spoke of times in his own life, when the Lord started a revival in his church.  How there was an urgency for the presence of God, and that translated into endless prayer meetings, which led to miraculous things happening in their midst, and a congregation that increased by hundreds in just a few short months. Each pause between sentences was a moment Mr. Flak had to compose himself because the spirit was on him so heavily it was hard to speak.   And he started with this statement.  The move of God will begin with these two things:  a desire/hunger for God, and clean hands.  Simple enough, and yet we still fail at it daily.  As he began with the history of revival in America, it was just Christian history, the presence of God was heavy in that classroom on Sunday morning.  The passion that I have had since I was young to be in the presence of the Lord burned inside of me again, and I will be honest, it had been a while since I had felt that kind of heart burn. 

So I have been thinking about this topic of revival a lot the past couple of weeks, and here is what I have come up with…(NOTE: these are just my thoughts, and some of them will be incomplete and/or not factual, but they are my toughts nonetheless.)

 Revival, though outdated by our culture today, is very relevant for today’s church, and yet it is never discussed.  We have become such “practical christians”, in a “practical world” that we have sucked the power of the Holy Spirit right out of our churches today.  Now I didn’t say we have sucked the Holy Spirit out of our churches, I said the power.   You see we still speak in tongues and prophecy (occasionally, depending on how many visitors come that sunday), so the Spirit is still there, but He is being held back.  All of our step-by-step sermons, and our self-help books that we cleverly disguise with a couple of bible verses, and our fansty outreaches to entise people into our services have become more important then the presence of God.  And I’m not talking about the tingles we get after we sing a good worship song and lift our hands high, I’m talking about the REAL, life-altering, miralce-filled presence of God.   

On a personal level (not a research level), I know that as for the churches that I have been a part of in the past 5 years, we have all played more then we have prayed.  It is so sad that it is easier to get the church congregation out for a party, or a dinner at the church then it is a prayer meeting.  And I know if it makes me sad, how much more does that hurt the Lord?!!!  Where is the hunger for God’s presence?  What are we truly concerned about here?  What am I truly concerned about here,  having people enjoy my church, or have an encounter at my church!!!!!

I whole-heartedly believe that God is doing something in the Northeast right now.  It is hysterical to me that I talk with people from different churches, God has been working the same in most all of them.  The same messages are being preached, the same intense worship is happening, and the same prophecies are being spoken.  But as far as I have heard, it has been God continally telling us to be prepared, to get ready, that he is going to pour out more, that we need to be pure.  God is preparing to do something great, and I don’t know about the rest of you, but I don’t want to miss it.  If we want to see God do something in our cities, in our state, in the Northeast, etc…, it will begin with us!  It will begin with  the revival (the restoration of life/ of use) of US, not the unsaved. I read it a while ago somewhere (I can’t remember where) a passage that went something like this ”the unsaved might be initially drawn to a church because of their hype (their music, their 5-step sermons, their  etc.), but they won’t stay because of it.  Encountering the presence of God is the only thing that will keep a person in your congregation.”

So I still am young and have much to learn about all of this, but I do know that God has been tugging on me to get alone with him more and more.  He has revealed things to me, about me, some I don’ enjoy very much.  He’s working on getting me pure and holy; He is reviving me.

“3Who may ascend into the hill of the LORD?
         And who may stand in His holy place?
    4He who has clean hands and a pure heart”

Psalm 23: 3-4

Right now we are doing a series “basic training”, the basics about christianity. I was really impacted with the theme of this past summers GC Conference, Love God and Love Others, so we have been reitterating that theme back to the kids. They are understanding it, and I have seen it first hand that they are applying it! We have been consistanlty over 20 kids (9-12 year olds) every Friday night. One of the highlights of last week for me was when one of the young guys, Caden, had to leave GenQuest early and his parents told me on Sunday he was so upset that he couldn’t stay that he cried the whole way home. It is so encouraging to know that these kids want to be there with us.

Now that we have gotten the ball rolling, and are starting to get to know the kids better, my vision for this year is to see these kids encounter God. A lot of them are newer to the church, they are not kids who grew up at FBC, and so they haven’t been a part of things like Camp Bethel and the conferences and such. So we are starting back at the beginning in hopes that these kids will understand what Christianity is all about, why we do what we do, and how we do it. So I thought Love God, Love Others was highly important. I was filled with the Holy Spirit at 10, so I know that God can touch the lives of these kids in a real and powerful way. I know God has a lot for this kids ministry, and I am just so thankful that I get to be a part of it.

So if you think about us down here in good ol’ Catskill, pray that God would move in all the Generation Ministries, and especially for our group (GenQuest). And as always, life is good, and God is good.

The grass was soaked with the dew that seemed to be covering everything as I walked to my car.  The street light was just enough to see the door handle, so I shifted all of my belongings to one arm and reached for it.  “Click, THUD”, try again “Click, THUD”.  My door was locked….wonderful.  Ok, where did I set my keys, on the table, on my desk…oh god.  “Click, THUD”, as the dome light came on just enough that I could see my keys dangeling from the ignition through the dewy window.  AHHHHHHHHHH, was honestly all I could think of. “Okay, okay, calming down….now what?!  Call the boyfriend to come rescue you, 4:50am, I’m not waking him up for this.  Okay, Knife and metal coat hanger, I’ve seen it done!”  I ran inside, at this point not caring if my feet got totally soaked from the dew.  I picked up the knife from my brothers hat, and went for my closet.  ONE metal hanger, thank God.  Sleep deprovation  must have taken over the logical part of my brain that said “find pliers” because I man-handled the metal hanger until it was a straight line (sort of ).  Back outside, flashlight, knife, coat hanger, sore hangs, and 5 minutes to do this. 

At this point I will spare you the details, because it was just the most ridiculous 10 minutes of the morning.  Needless to stay, no one ever has to worry about me stealing a car.  So I guess at 5:00am I am just like every other girl, emotional.  I could feel that stiff feeling in the back of my throat as I stood outside, in the dark, alone.  My eyes welled with tears, and I felt a warm stream run down my cheek.  I am so glad that no one was watching me, because I probably looked ridulous, but I had a moment right there.  I think there was some parelell between the time on the clock and how I was acting (5).  So back inside I went, nothing in tow this time, because I broke the flashlight when I through it on the pavement, my knife fell and went down into the joint of the door, and I got the coat hanger stuck. 

I had to go wake up my brother to see if I could take his car to work, which I was now 10 minutes late for.  Have you ever heard the saying “Don’t poke the bear”, well in this moment it applied.  Sleepy and aunry, he arose from his slumber to help out.  I was on my way back to the car to become even more frustrated at the coat hanger that was now jammed, as my 17 year old brother made his way the the passenger door.  He figited with the handle a little bit, and “Click” the door opened.  “WHAT?!”, he stood up and tossed me the set of spare keys. 

Needless to say, it’s been a long morning.  And I have learned that I am useless at 4 in the morning. 

time

22 08 2007

Seems like Einstein was right when he said time was relative. Anyway seems like I have way too much free time, although that could be because the only class I really have homework in right now is Calculus 2 and I avoid that like the plague. That pretty much just leaves me the options of aimlessly surfing the web and doing pointless stuff with friends. Both of which I do often, although I really do need to meet more people here. However, I am learning to improve myself and learn new things at college. I’ve started playing lots of Frisbee, not only does this improve my eye hand coordination but it also counts as exercise, right? Well maybe not, but to each his own. Now I don’t want you to think I’m unorganized or lax about my time here at K-State. Don’t worry all my classes and homework is attended to and organized in iCal. (Disclaimer: this is the first of many shameless Mac plugs)

I just found this blog, and I have one thing to say….are you kidding me?! I really must have missed that boat, because I don’t think that I could relate to this kid in the slightest bit. Frisbee….filling his excessive free time with Frisbee? Uh, yeah I have one question….what free time?!! Time is relative. Reading this blog just infuriated me. But then I stopped and realized something. This is a “norm” for most college students. A life filled with classes, and parties, and that’s pretty much it. “Responsibility” is a curse word to most. A life of sleeping in, and staying out late. Work? Job? What are you talking about? And I’m sure that if I held up a picture of a ribosome and a picture of a church, that little squiggly stuff would be way easier to identify!

So the question that I just couldn’t get away from was, have I missed something? Have I skipped a whole chapter of life, and taken on too much for someone “my age”? I don’t know that the answer to that question really exists. I think that I will find out if all the hard work, all of the time and energy pays off in the end.

But I look at all of my friends who are in college. I check now and then to see how they are doing, and all I usually find are more inappropriate pictures of them on their Myspace, a different relationship status every other week on their Facebook, or another text about a party at the apartment. And all that comes to mind is that passage of scripture that talks about the man who built his house upon the sand. And I just get this visual of all of my friends from high school, sitting on on the beach, building sand castles. And it looks like so much fun, playing with the sand and the buckets. Sitting there as the water comes up just enough to touch the edge of the moat they built. Something in me wants to just go play with them, but then I look down and I have a blueprint in my hand. And then the sound of the waves and the seagulls starts to be drowned out by the loud confusion of construction. And I realize that I am standing in front of the biggest construction site I have ever seen, and I’m working on it! And I realize how much work it is to build this, and how hard it is, and that I’m responsible for not only myself, but for the other workers at the site. And I turn and I can still see the sand castles again, and the sun and the waves, all the “fun” that I am missing.

I know, at this point I’m rambling just the slightest bit, but I think that this is important enough. As fun as building sand castles is, it is one of the most unproductive past-times ever. You stress about every curve, every corner, and every pebble that invades the structure. If you are a master, you even try and find flags and banners (twigs with leaves still attached) to accent your kingdom. But in the end it is still all silliness.

I could sit and get upset at all the fun that I seem to be “missing out” on, I could get resentful of the fact that I have to act like adult when all of my friends are still splashing around in the bathwater of their adolescence. But then I think about the kingdom that I have been working for. It is not a silly little sand castle, it isn’t the enterprise of a mega-corporation, it isn’t even for myself.

As I turned away from the sand castles once again, I saw what was on the blue prints in my hand. It is the Kingdom of God. What I am working on is not some silly little building, this thing is eternal. So I reached down, picked up my tools and put my hard hat back on, and I got back to work.

So my life is not full of “way to much free time”, or even free time that I can “aimlessly surf the web, or do pointless stuff with my friends” for that matter. But at the end of the day, I think that I’m okay with that. I know that I have made sacrifices to get where I am, that truth becomes more clear everyday. But my work, my responsibility, my sacrifices are not for something silly, like a sand castle. They are eternal dues paid, to see “Thy Kingdom Come”. So in the end, I would put the Frisbee down to pick up my cross any day.